Realistic Bodies

by Realistic Bodies

supported by
alqually thumbnail
alqually I bleed a lot when I hit my head! Especially when bottles are being broken on it! Favorite track: Bald.
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

      $2 USD  or more




A highly amplified examination of body issues in the parlance of our times.


released September 30, 2016

Produced, Engineered, and Mixed by Jesse Cannon & Mike Oettinger @ Cannon Found Soundation



all rights reserved


Realistic Bodies New York, New York

Realistic Bodies began in Union Square, New York City, when they got kicked out of a Guitar Center for being too loud. They moved their noodling over to an hourly practice space and quickly went on to blow up five amps in less than one year.

contact / help

Contact Realistic Bodies

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: Just Because
Just because I have a mustache doesn’t mean that I’m a pervert, but since you ask, yes. I am. Just because my dick is skinny doesn’t mean it’s thin. It’s just uncut. It’s like a floppy hat.
Track Name: Oh! Chipotle
Oh! My butt just won’t stop pooping today. Can’t leave the house or do anything. Must have been what I ate last night. Burrito Supreme with extra fucking guacamole.
Track Name: My Hog
When I think about my hog, it always brings me down cuz it’s pink, and it stinks, and it’s so small. And it’s always spitting glue because it’s so in love with you. I peed down on the corner near your house.
Track Name: Bald
What do I see when I look in the mirror? A condition of the head that you fear. I look really old as shit. It bleeds a lot when I hit my head. Please, baby, please. It’s not so bad even though I look like your granddad.
Track Name: Side Effects May Include
Cold sweats, bladder pain, bloody, cloudy urine, cool, pale skin, chills, coma and confusion, increased hunger, increased thirst, puffiness or rashes on the face, nausea, nightmares and painful urination, frequent urge to urinate, tiredness or weakness, rash of the penis, itching genitalia, puffy, rashy, itchy, swollen, painful, flaky, red and wrinkled dick.
Track Name: I Don't Like Anything
I don’t like anything.